God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You
by bingsrule
Summary: I wrote this for a contest on Merge! It is a Chandler and Monica songfic from Chandler's pov based on The Beach Boys song "God Only Knows"


This is a Chandler and Monica song fic that I wrote for a contest on Merge! based on The Beach Boys song "God Only Knows" I've never written a song fic before,it's not very good. Please review.

Disclaimer: I don't own them or the song

_I may not always love you  
But long as there are stars above you  
You never need to doubt it  
I'll make you so sure about it_

Ahhh... Monica.

Thinking ofthe raven haired beauty brought a dreamy smile to his face that lit up his features and made his blue eyes even bluer.

She was his wife.

His life.

His world.

His entire existence.

He couldn't imagine his life without her.

He didn't want to.

God willing he'd never have to.

_  
God only knows what I'd be without you_

His life only really began the moment their lips first met that fateful night. He had never expected it to happen, had never seen it coming, until it was too late and he had inescapably fallen.

It was scary at first, it had happened so fast. In a matter of seconds she had gone from being just one of his best friends to being 'the one'. The One. He knew it in that first kiss, though he was terrified to admit it just then.

He'd never felt that type of intense passion for anyone before in his life. He fell hard, he fell fast, there was no turning back, not that he wanted to.

That night had changed everything for him.

It had brought meaning into his life. Before then he was only just existing. He was going through the motions, day in day out.

She brought color into his previously grey life. Her smile lit up his world. She gave him a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to make it through the day. Even something as mundane as data analysis and reconfiguration had been so much easier to tolerate knowing she'd be there waiting for him, arms open wide when he got home at night.

_If you should ever leave me  
Though life would still go on believe me  
The world could show nothing to me  
So what good would living do me_

He was who he was because of her. She made him a better man. Being with her made him want to accomplish great things to make her proud.

Loving her taught him what unconditional love was. It was the first relationship in his life where he was comfortable enough to be himself. He wasn't afraid to let her in and see his deep dark fears. He wasn't afraid she'd run away if she knew the real him, maybe because they had been friends for so long. He trusted her completely, that was definitely a first for him.

And he loved her for who she was. He didn't want her to change, he loved her flaws and all. She may not have been perfect to the rest of the world, but she was perfect in his eyes. They balanced each other out. They knew just how to calm each other's worries and anxieties.

She taught him commitment didn't have to be such a scary thing, if you were committed to the right person. And he found out he wanted to be committed to her. Life without Monica wasn't living.

_God only knows what I'd be without you _

The thought of what would have become of him without her, without London, without Ross and Emily's impulsive decision to get married ten weeks after they met and without him and Monica realizing that all they needed had always been in front of them for years, was too frightening to even contemplate.

He tried not to think of what life would have become without her. He figured he'd most likely be alone. Lonely. Miserable. Depressed. Watching his friends all grow up and move away, he probably would have ended up being crazy snake man after all. Scaring children. Or perhaps desperation and utter loneliness would have enabled him to fall victim once more to Janice's trap. Perish the thought! He didn't know which alternative frightened him more.

He had been lucky enough to not only escape such dire fates, but to find a type of happiness that he had never dared to dream existed.

_God only knows what I'd be without you_

He thanked God every day for giving him Monica. He never used to believe in God. But now he did. He had to. There was no other explanation for him getting so lucky.

He was thankful to Ross, for being his roommate and introducing them. He was thankful for Emily. And he was most thankful that Ross and Emily met, fell in love and got married. He didn't know if he'd ever thanked Ross for that, but one day he would. London was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Sure so many wonderful moments happened between him and Monica since then, moments he would never forget and would cherish forever: they had said "I love you" for the first time; when she had agreed to marry him, that still shocked a part of him to this day, that such an angel would chose to spend her life with a loser like him; there had been their wedding day; and the birth of their children.

But London held a special place in his heart. Not because of the sex. Though that was definitely fantastic. Seven times in one night. Yeah the sex was great. He'd never known it could be that good. But it was so much more than that.

Without London, none of those other things would have been possible. London was where he opened his eyes, where he was seeing for the first time.

_If you should ever leave me  
Well life would still go on believe me  
The world could show nothing to me  
So what good would living do me_

He now found it hard to believe that he had never realized it before. How had they been blind to what was always in front of them? It seemed so obvious now. But hindsight is twenty-twenty. He and Monica were the true soulmates in their little group of friends, the ones who were always destined to end up together. He had always been closer to her than the other girls, she had always been the one he confided in. They had always cuddled together when they were all hanging out. He didn't know what took them so long, he was just glad that they had finally figured it out.

He'd do anything for Monica. He loved her more than he ever thought he could love another human being. She'd never have question his love for her.

He'd be willing to walk through fire for her. Nothing was too great a price, not for everything she gave him.

Their friends liked to tease him, and said he was whipped, but he didn't mind, they could say what they wanted, it simply wasn't true. He never did anything he didn't want to.

He was simply a man in love with his wife. Nothing could ever bring him greater happiness than making her happy.

She was his life.

_God only knows what I'd be without you  
God only knows what I'd be without you  
God only knows..._


End file.
